Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
