OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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