You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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