I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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