He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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