HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
