census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize