white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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