The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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