sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
