Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
