just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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