I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
