question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
