Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
