btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
