OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
