batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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