Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
