Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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