I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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