i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
