Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
