She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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