Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
