I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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