i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My vagina just recognized that song.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
