I'm passing your future prison.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
