Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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