get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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