If i come over, it means nothing
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
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you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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