My Higher Power is John Stamos
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I will be naked everywhere
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.