Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

(1-954): View more from Florida

Is this the gay conversation?

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(954): Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me... (1-954): Is this the gay conversation? http://tfl.nu/4777

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(970): View more from Colorado

I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

(303): View more from Colorado

Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

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(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. http://tfl.nu/w6wy

Replies (111) Good night (38421) Bad night (3073)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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(267): just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES http://tfl.nu/axvy

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(937): View more from Ohio

he is a creepy guy.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

yea thats what heroine does to ppl.

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(937): he is a creepy guy. (1-937): yea thats what heroine does to ppl. http://tfl.nu/28ly

Replies (14) Good night (723) Bad night (3994) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

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(612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.

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(+44): At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever. http://tfl.nu/bxy4

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(216): View more from Ohio

She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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(216): She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened http://tfl.nu/r1vr

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(585): View more from New York

there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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(585): there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk http://tfl.nu/9sjy

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(941): View more from Florida

how did the keg end up in the top bunk?

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(941): how did the keg end up in the top bunk? http://tfl.nu/zpng

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt

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(402): Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt http://tfl.nu/efn4

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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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(601): It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this http://tfl.nu/qp1v

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(540): View more from Virginia

i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

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(540): i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth http://tfl.nu/m5qw

Replies (6) Good night (765) Bad night (1303)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.

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(502): It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass. http://tfl.nu/hhxz

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(218): View more from Minnesota

my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.

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(218): my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor. http://tfl.nu/6k19

Replies (2) Good night (805) Bad night (199)
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(951): View more from California

I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

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(951): I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays. http://tfl.nu/owjt

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