hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dick very happy bro