nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl