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Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
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