Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
nutella sex= disaster
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
