beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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