You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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