actually, I'm a sock model
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
