apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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