Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
now i know why i became what i already was.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
