I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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