I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
