Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
