I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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