I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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