I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
