people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
sex in a hospital.. check
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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