She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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