i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We are all done wearing pants today
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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