Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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