Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
