I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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