It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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