Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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