garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
babies were throwing up all over the place
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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