And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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