I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
