Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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