WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
