oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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