Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
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I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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