What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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